“When he was there, a sort of constant terror of displeasing him made her voice sharp and nervous; the children knew that many a thing passed over by their mother when their father was away, was sure to be noticed by her when he was present; and noticed, too, in a cross and querulous manner, for she was so much afraid of the blame which on any occasion of their misbehaviour fell upon her. And yet she looked up to her husband with a reverence and regard, and a faithfulness of love, which his decision of character was likely to produce on a weak and anxious mind. He was a rest and a support to her, on whom she cast all her responsibilities; she was an obedient, unremonstrating wife to him” (208 Chapter 20)
Mr. Farquhar expresses many times throughout the chapters that Jemima is too “wild-hearted” for him. Ruth demonstrates all of the qualities that a good wife should have. She is kind, quiet, and obedient. Jemima sees this differently through her jealous eyes. How could Ruth be a suitable wife? She has no money, or connections, and has a child. But Mr. Farquhar likes that she seems interested in his life and thirsts for knowledge, despite all these other things. In Gaskell’s story, men have been more focused on her beauty and her kind obedience rather than what she has to offer them physically. Mr. Donne expresses that he misses the naive sweet girl she once was. He misses the girl who would have done anything for him at his beck and call with no pushback. Jemima shares her thoughts and opinions especially when they do not align with others. This quality is clearly not valued in society or in men’s lives. Her mother knows not to share her thoughts and feelings when her husband is around. He needs to feel like he has authority and power in the household.
What is the purpose of including Jemima and Mr. Farquar in the novel? Is it to show easily people can fall for Ruth? Is she trying to accentuate the idea that even though she is this “fallen” woman she is not undeserving of love? What is the response Gaskell is trying to make us have? There is a lot of empathy that is felt for Ruth and her situation. She is continuously dealt bad cards. And she prays for forgiveness and guidance often and further educates herself to leave behind this sense of ignorance. But society does not view her sins this way.
This is a great line of thought to pursue in relation to the idea of “social-sexual transgression” Dolin discusses in the introduction to the novel. Jemima’s looking at her parents’ marriage and thinking about what she wants and doesn’t want for herself. You might think of her relationship with Farquar as one of those repeated or analogous pairings that lets readers see the kinds of (domestic) relationships men and women have: brother/sister, husband/wife, seducer/fallen woman. How those two end up (who changes, how, to what degree, how they interact, etc.) gives some sense of the novel’s view of what’s desirable.